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365 days

by TOM

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1.
still thanking my lucky decembers, i found love and it’s tender, the type of thing we depend on, wrote this letter to you with the tip of the feather, every minute i treasure, wish i could mint every word, i love you and can’t wait for when you’ll admit that i said it first, i love you and can’t capture it with some witty or clever words, whether i’m smoking or i’m sweating, swear i’m with you in every verb, i love you and i don’t know what i did to ever deserve 12 months of forever, still thanking my lucky decembers, i trust that it’s special, from every down to every other crescendo, i was nervous walking up observatory hill trembling, i was walking through moore park, trembling, i was sitting in that orange car, trembling, wondering what i did to be next to such a blessing, i guess it’s just those decembers are lucky as ever, and every single other month we’re spending together
2.
the evening offered the only source of light, we’d forgotten what a thought was like, put my heart into that sweat, i was pouring mine, only like three or four words were on my mind, nervous like what if this is not the time? but i could tell it was on her mind too with how that light bounced off her eyes, still my tongue was in a knot, i held it awful tight, like i hadn’t thought of this exact moment a lot times, i tried to say it and i sort of sighed, finger tapping on her thigh like in morse i might find the courage, eyes locked like a door at night, i wasn’t even worried about all the monsters by the cupboard, the feeling was mighty stubborn so i used all my might, the words were printed in my head, just couldn’t them form them right, but i’d never felt so sure of something in all my life, and when she said it first, i of course replied “i love you”
3.
cottage in my arms, i watched you build it brick by brick, now it’s the strongest part of me, to think it only took a year a cottage in my arms, i watched you decorate my heart, now it’s the safest part of me, to think it only took a year

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released November 30, 2023

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