every line was patterned wrong that made it through the grapevine, every guy sebastian song was playing at the same time, screaming for the answers like it's sway's mic, better climb the ladder tom, make it through the play's heights everybody left when i was wrong, so i stage right. oh how i long for some face time, waste mine, until hell's gates shine, if i'm the billionth person to arrive bet i'll claim prize, i state lies, they ask me to say why and i reply with a continued "um" like space-time inspect a blank page and you may find it's littered with the traced rhymes i'd written last may when i became blind trap got his tail, cat got the tongue, cath thought to flail, dad thought to run back of a snail for my head when my thoughts aren't fun, why lie to pause them is funner a line of fire i was spawned in front of, sometimes i think i should've called the fucker some things i can't afford to change - for one of course, the subject luck comes less because my god is irish more because of her encouragement i don't love in jest, i love until there's nothing left look at zac funny i might punch you in the fucking chest, look at me funny zac might punch you until there's nothing left, just a puddle of blood and mess a finger broke, of course the trust was next but shits provoked and itches poked, you start to question if the trust was there i'm thinking honestly, my knuckles read the room and turned blue as quick as sonic's feet i ran so far my upper legs hurt for like a lot of weeks and that whole time i forgot to speak, like really not a peep trying to figure out what it means to mourn the loss of leadership i never got to see, you know what i mean my fortress weak, the guards are strong and mean, my fortune leaving because i stopped the meek, they forgot to teach you not to swat at bees i didn't just lose count, i lost the fucking sheep whose house is it if i'm in the plot to keep ? shoplift the shit i want for free, it's pretty easy turns out some pockets all you need i'm not tired, i'm more depleted the kind of high that makes you mourn the ceiling, my head is tumbledrying the thoughts, repeated cycles of rhyming more with peter somehow winter was the hottest season, and somehow zac has been the voice of reason i made the choice to breathe in, every wound was open for the boys to sea swim i want the fingers pete used to point at me with the wind makes a good argument, but so far every point has been grim, of course i voice achievements i was taught retreat from every thought received iris saw defeat, i mean we fought at least call it what the fuck you want to call it please - just don’t call police the orders kept on getting taller, i was on my knees and she was putting me through school, could not afford to leave sordid speak from all of peter’s rotten teeth if it was up to me, i would’ve knocked out 31, man that’s a lot of teeth awful me, a world to come, to think they thought that they were on to me ex was mad because i rapped and forgot my modesty but i’m rapping fucking well and i just want a treat, i mean - acknowledge me! but maybe acknowledgement and praise was never her job to be life doesn’t come with rules you learn from the jordan petes, the dumb, the unempathetic, the those with applause to seek the privileged teachings aren’t the ones that you should’ve sought or seek and that applies to me - so turn the song off i came out the womb 5”6, a world to come, huh? when i first started having thoughts, i learnt to run fast why the fuck they think i’m always asking for a running race to prove? when i was young my dad would make a funny face or two then the cancer split his fucking face in two i wasn’t breast fed but dad hit the bottle, and i think some of that would get shared, my first sentence was probably “that’s a funny tasting brew!” war trenches stored in my foreheaded thoughts strong stenches poured from all pens in store and more weapons drawn when i’m bored remember the information more than the source we were all in formation when god meant to call, guess some forget what a forehead is for need more armour, man, more metal, more! i do the scoring and y’all set the score

wasn’t not scared due to courage nah, i owe all of that debt to the numbness stone face held through the plummet, reflection shows a body of water, i dare you to double dog dare me to jump in i wasn’t not scared, i was nothing grief in the crowd with a pumped fist screaming all proudly “i love this!” prepared for it like a test, see so i wasn’t not scared - i just wasn’t ready i could afford me plenty before it set in, so i just kept dropping pennies for the cause of resting so eventually my paws were empty, of course an ending comes like smallpox and sore spots redden some more, snore when god stops threatening us blessed ones scared? me? i never was, never once even in severed trust, several months spent next to lachie double lying direct as fuck pretending he’s a friendly one nah, he never was, never once never apologised, but i could tell he was scared when he attempted one resentment and grudge holding didn’t get me far, if i didn’t have zac, dead i probably would’ve ended up but trust it didn’t scare me none the chest was thumped, the raps were said, i don’t regret a bar, whatever, it just keeps getting whateverer the angel on my shoulder went to queensland to tend to farms but we’re still getting closer like she never left my arms, her each hand in my sweaty palms so all debts to sophie for the healthy gut and comfort in the rain, live under a fucking umbrella hut and get by on the strength of mum like the umbilical was never cut, i would go to hell for her and still i couldn’t shake the debt so what’s the point of playing scared? if i was really scared i’d say i’m scared but y’all don’t make me scared i still miss shane and seb, i don’t make the day for them but i owe many thanks to them, days of school i wouldn’t have made to end if it ain’t for them i see harvey like once a year and live like a minute away from him think back to ava and i’m grateful for the way it ended, hard to pick the best teacher, pains a great contender great in size were the aches, the veins were tender, made it through by the skin of my incisors, sinking into the brim of my fitted sprains and tension in every tendon, break the hearts inside us but talking strength, i came back twice as but not once was i frightened by my lack i think the failed attempts just make for better trying the only time i’ve ever been scared is when i started getting frightened