1. |
talking about
01:36
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from the hearse to the circus
it hurts to rehearse this,
cursed with the curve of the cursive and sold it for crops
holes in the plot like it’s mercury’s surface
and mould for the prop that protects me from weather
know it gets hot when you’re next to the centre
couple of losses, some shed for the better
really can’t pass epping without texting her, i guess there’s an error
but i’ll shimmy out once i figure out where i’m stuck
thinning, consider how little the mouth has touched
but i really doubt that it’s love, i really doubt that’s it’s love
i sent that prick my album for what?
i was like a thousand up, really just fouled him for fun
karma coming, i’ll probably just pout when it comes
mouth nothing but a pimple, spewing fountains of puss
but shit, i’ve been moving nothing ‘cause the mountains are stuck
i have fallen
carry a meek demeanour and a couple g’s of weed just to ease the dreams of peter
just speak to ava, i can keep a secret
i can teach the teachers, i can bleed and they can bleed just like i can bleed
so someone tell that ugly motherfucker he can keep the kia
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2. |
all the pen (dry heat)
01:58
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what's a couple tears shed? when me and mum were both convinced he had a couple years left
on the year from his death, i fucked and then slept, woke up and then wept, smoked some and then slept -
i came up short, i grabbed the pen and drew a blank like maybe this ain’t my sport
already traced my trauma, every name he called her, every mistake i’ve ever made i somehow made a song but
eventually i gotta stop making mistakes or something
already made my choices, painting with angry brushes
maybe it can’t be rushed, but i’ve been thinking all day, my head has hardly hushed
the second i try to make it something tangible, i’m stuck
i came up short, my hands can move all they want but the ink is either out or invisible so i’ll play my part before i play my cards
hearts defamed by tar and so father’s plans were slowed up, guess i thought if i was high i’d write my magnum opus
either that i already wrote it
claim the best among the never quoted,
yet i don’t know what word should go next,
already bored of sorting through every thought inside my fucking forehead
funny how i’m dropping to like four pairs of ears, the pressure lends to fear, more scared than empty, still more regrets to empty
i mean i could’ve kept my parents near or smoked less weed
i got some ash on my vest, zac held my hand on the ledge
i shared my heart without demanding a cent
and left ava's torn
so curse the god who hands him the pen because he came up short
what's a couple tears shed? when me and mum were both convinced he had a couple years left
on the year from his death, i fucked and then slept, woke up and then wept, smoked some and then slept,
but i didn't write a thing!
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3. |
what else?
01:29
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numb to the healing process
how i’ve appeared grow since the crow swept on my doorstep with a pause in his croak, news of father fauth in his throat
solemnly told in a caw, then put his claws to the clouds
it’s not a broad enough stroke that could capture my scowl
it’s not a rapper alive i couldn’t match with the nouns,
smack him before he gets an adjective out,
now imagine if cathy was proud, if dad was around,
but we know his ghost is in the cracks of house, you know, back from the ground
i say that shit cracking a smile,
went from a gram to an ounce in a day, what else could i say? it’s not much else that makes these doubts go away, at least i got a mouth for pain and some the pain for relief
but fuck the grief, look at what i made of the grief
pass me an aux cord, bet i’m playing some me
got some range on my feet, so if it’s taken bet i’m making the three, paid for receipts, weight in the crease, i know it pains him to see
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4. |
wonder bread
01:49
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mum’s heart couldn’t take the burden
looking for an equal i couldn’t shake the vermin
the shit that’s in the pudding always ain’t the verdict
eventually it’s posion put in the dog they blamed for their work missing
it hurts listening the most when they’re right
throat closed over a night, why’d he go to the light?
fuck making sure my vocals are tight, phone broken still i spoke to mic when wasn’t noone in sight
it was probably all that closing my eyes, whole time mum held a patch on the hole in my side
sober i fight, so i am high, fuck
holding hands with him, this rap kicking doesn’t demand wisdom so i can spit until i can’t stand living, right?
but mum’s heart is standing on stilts now
and i’ve heard cracking around the bricks that he built around it
that can’t be a bad thing
really only loved one of the three,
said it to all them, plus my dad, so what the fuck does it mean?
put a fourth ex to my name and it’ll come with a fee
he put a fauth next to my name but gave me nothing to lead by
god’s threats aren’t encumbering me, right?
was stuck in a tree between the ages of three and five
if we’re talking friends then at any given freeze time, might have somewhere between three and five
faked left, spin right, got fouled on the three, so got an easy five
should’ve watched the hips, but the bruises on the knees don’t lie
pray that i’ll be sleeping fine, something something something and then peter died
so don’t talk to me about a vocal mix
pen could have you swimming with the fishes that i snorkle with
know nothing but fear from home i’ve grown up in
not saying i’m better than all of them, just most of them
and that can’t be a bad thing
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5. |
darth vader
01:22
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the best rapper since when rap existed
rappers rapping just to rap but couldn’t rap like this
couldn’t imagine, couldn’t be average
listen to your shit and wretch like a pusha t adlib
look at me backwards, been mad since dad left but that’s just in the package
right pinkie , left pointer, by the time i’m done here might have half a hand left
but it’s never half hearted and i am scared,
garageband masters, at least i own the shit
did it for the soul cleansing, never in the name of ownership
but just you wait ‘till me and cathy start a clothing business
only for the codependent
i know why he got the album, i was trying to put some salt up in it
getting old now, isn’t it?
but he can’t read the lyrics anyway he’s close to illiterate
sick of the joking and bickering
peter was open to ridicule
issues with lachie i latched on quickly to so i didn’t have to focus on him again
2023 might pick up smoking and littering
heard hell isn’t open for visitors but that motherfucker still owes a cigarette
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6. |
anxious
01:47
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oh my god, oh my god, if i die i’m a scumbag
palm of my hand you could find where the crumbs at
one dad, really ran for miles while his dumbass was standing still
i’ll demand a million for the classic i’ll probably write when my mum pass
and i’ll use that million to talk god into giving my mum back
but i could meet him first, shit it only takes one crash
driving like my dad, shit my mum wouldn’t want that
stuck, trapped in hell with him looking up sad hearing her yelling “come back, tommy come back!”
promise i won’t let it come to that, but if it is the devil on my back, promise i’m coming back
just gotta talk to dad, get our money back
i know she’s after some of that
struggling to put me through school, i should’ve studied, man
but if i had a childhood, i remember less than half of that
traumatic, chronic pack ripping for the chronic pain
it’s all the same, all them lame
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