1. |
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not all problems have solutions for the sort
i just want to find my retribution on the court
know he’d lose a little sore, maybe bruised a bittle core
either speaking in tongues or metaphor of course,
like the noose at which he clawed, the boots in which he crawled
need to creep off my tongue, each secret that comes creeping up leaves a crease on my tongue
and my sneakers too, i got pete to prove
smack him like fuck it he didn’t need a tooth,
the valley view was nothing special once i was touching the cresent
was fucked up the second i turned 22, promise the second time i turn 22 i’ll be nothing but present
hard to re-remember the memories of hugging my parents
funny, the cancer really did nothing but scare us
but sometimes we hurt for the better, or the fear can prepare us
or something else until peter walks back in
the kia’s got scratches, i didn’t even really want that shit,
wish he was still drunk and i was still in the backseat
my mattress desperately trying to erase all the past tense it has seen
i have been working on it
really, i have been pointing the mic like “en garde”
meanwhile, they’re writing pointed lies and put it on god
thanks to zac and my mother for a strong heart, still wrong path walking
the man is long gone, still i gotta run from him
my head is on sideways
been forgetting exactly when he died but i’m sure it’s been plenty of fridays,
right? -
i put my ears to the sea to let divine speak
that’s when i heard megan reaching out at hyams beach
there were a couple things she had to remind me, like “just because i left doesn’t mean i’d leave, please trust i walked toward it with light feet, and kept strong so it couldn’t ever blind me, i’ll say hi to pete, he’s as sorry as i am free, take a date and mark it like glebe but trust that you can close your eyes and find me, keep cath safe and let yourself find peace”
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2. |
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it’s a lot of time spent thinking things i don’t really think
a lot of nights spent losing dinner over the sink
a lot of time spent missing him, we know he’s a prick
a lot of nights spent thinking that i’m close to the brink
imagine holding it in, thoughts of throwing some fists
and everything else that i’ve already said
this the type of shit to make a kori repent,
or convince aidan he didn’t exist, it was all in your head
whatever outcome is best, seeped in doubt but at least i speak these doubts from the chest
keep my ears to every mouth i resent
hard to tell my mum that ruby doesn’t mind the smoking
i mean, i asked, she said it’s fine as long as i don’t forget to feed her
roaches over the back door laying where the streets were
swear i get stronger every time i throw them
easy to blame some ash on the one that time has chosen
i’m not rapping now i’m just trying to find some closure
for my grandpa, for my nana, for my da-
i mean, for peter too if i have to
black salt inside some cracked wounds
one hand movement if he opens up his gap tooth, that’s -
that’s rude
i thought it was faith that i lacked,
now i’m thinking it’s patience perhaps,
i mean, i used to pray that he’d crash
like i couldn’t wait for the cancer to make him some ash
i still pray for the face that he smacked
when she raised me with aches in her back, thorns in her side,
couldn’t grief complete me
put the sea beneath me, i’ll keep quick feet
i’ve been breathing easy, i’ve been seeing clearly, i know when i leave it’s not shit i’ll keep with me
still couldn’t grief complete me,
either that or i couldn’t grieve completely
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3. |
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really just see and do as the monkey does
got well in august, only took a month to fuck it up
heard it’s a year off mum’s life for every drug i’ve touched
plus a couple years for every page i’ve crumpled up
plus i still miss my ex
fucked again, only say it ‘cause she deserves to know
part of me hopes it hurts her so, the other part hasn’t really heard of hope
uncurl the rope but man my wrist is next
the murder is slow so i’m probably where the birds have flown
i’m responsible, accountable, complicit to the words i’ve thrown
ink wipes off like smirks, hide shit that time won’t find first, might do my worse
i might lose my curse, might prove my worth
the light hurts, i still jumped in mic first
my most prized wise words don’t rhyme,
grief wipes off like dirt , so don’t cry, you know time well
muck and the mire stuck to my tires, trust in my cries but fuck it i tried, couldn’t muster suprise, luck running a mile
crumble weed like it’s a fucking empire, it’s nothing silly i really toughened up when he died
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4. |
ex talk (b&b)
01:15
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maybe i should’ve kept with the promise
admit it, i watched part of you perish when i was honest
i could’ve kept the performance, we could’ve wept at the altar, forever we’re halted, until we’re together were god was
i could’ve lied in vows too, we could’ve fought wars
i mean i’ve thought worse, couple tall drops that caught my eyes
couldn’t name that, a couple train tracks were calling mine, or that knot i tied
oh that knot we could’ve tied, tom you could’ve lied more,
had a gooder time , tom you couldn’t write more, find a gooder rhyme?
tom, you sold it as truth, tom you’re broken and blue
and she was broken and blue
left hope in a noose, holes in my shoes,
human shaped hole in my wall, i suppose it was you
nothing to show for the proof
but every time you were there it snowed in my room
heard love finds mostly the fools,
we had nowhere to move, oaths that i broke, you sung notes that were blue
roses i stole, someone show me the loot please
you screamed, but what was it worth if i know it’s on mute?
i was a ghost of the truth, got too close to the sun to know it was you
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5. |
"hello" (Salt water)
01:38
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salt in the wounds, it was just to get the leeches off
openly the truth and i have never been involved,
mum wishing i would chill with all the peter talk
screaming but i’m chilling in the middle of the forest where a tree could fall
pissed so my fists and my sneakers balled, the only shit i ever creased was yours,
turned a product i was proud of into sleeping clothes, wish i told him he could keep it all
couple refunds i deserve that i don’t even want
turned away, staring back but couldn’t see straws
really i need resolve, dreaming of the type of issues worth sleeping off
worth my weight in trauma
earnt every breath i could’ve taken ‘till i’m laying dormant
trying to greet ivette and paul, i couldn’t say it normal
every “hello” coming out with some shake and warble, was not a trained performer
i know she hates me for it, took it the hardest
pray that jarv' is really great at talking
i nicknamed him so it’s okay that i said the line before this, right? if not, it’s fine
the consequences of my actions are often not all mine
still worth my weight for every dotted line, in every ink blot i shine, really once upon a time god was mine but since god decided it was peter’s time, i’ve been forgetting all the fate they taught us
worth my weight in trauma, really just want a dollar for every name i’ve brought up
poorly mixed but shit at least i can say it’s honest
unlike everything i didn’t say to lachie
tell viv and hugh to keep praying for me probably might convert back the day they call me
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