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maybe scared (prod. ghowste)

from The undistanced tapes by TOM

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lyrics

i see a little bit of me in the face of these kids,
sometimes it’s scary as fuck and it breaks me to bits,
my finger still get aches when it lifts,
hidden under tables and behind excuses and shit,
mum sees a little bit of her abuser in the face of her kid,
what if places were switched like shoes, i wouldn’t have step-taken in his,
i was eighteen thinking it was a cute little race to the end,
then it came and i didn’t need the ‘but’, i’d have taken an ‘if’
i probably gotta save it with this,
now i’m dating and shit, i mean like really in love and it feels amazing and shit, talking about babies and shit, plotting on naming and shit,
i mean, my zac debt is paid off as shit,
my mum and i’s relationship is still straining
and maybe i’m scared of that,
maybe she’s scared of me,
too impaired to speak, sure as hell could rap, those two things spare the grief,
so what are you telling me?
still bearing teeth,

still in therapy
still on the same street i was raised in,
my girlfriend is my fortune teller, tells me of the days end,
arm in arm, laid spread on the same bed, may get a bit brazen,
i should probably save that,
look into my mother’s eyes and i can say for sure that strains mend,
but my finger still gets aches depending on the way it ends,
at the end of the day the strains do mend the stress and the pain,
and as of late we’re doing rather well,
what else could i do with that but raise a joint,
maybe a glass as well
pen lazer point, trained and poised to stay polite,
the smell isn’t my issue, it’s the neighbour’s plight
maybe i’m wrong

credits

from The undistanced tapes, released October 22, 2023

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